I disappeared

I've been a gone girl, and if the coronavirus continues to stalk humanity with a vengeance, I may really be a gone girl in the near future. 

Like a lot of people I'm working from home, except I'm not really "working." All of my colleagues and I are required to train online five hours a day five days a week on a variety of topics that will help us as employees of a public library. While I'm studying databases and other tech stuff, I'm also going for personal development. Because it's never too late to help a girl grow into a woman.

I like staying at home. I like feeding the birds and the squirrels, especially when a squirrel sits on a fence pole and looks pleadingly at me while holding its arms at its chest. Okay, you got me. I'll feed you because I don't know if your food source is gone because there's been no rain for weeks.

My cat and dog don't know what to think of me staying home all day. I can see that I've messed up their routine. They probably wish I would just go away for awhile, but it's too scary out there. Eventually, I'll have to go to the grocery store. Eventually. 

I love apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic stories like The Road, The Bear, Into the Forest, World War Z, and the Walking Dead. However, I never thought I would be living in an apocalyptic story, that I would be a real, alive, breathing part of the narrative. I know there have been more devastating epidemics like the 1918 Spanish Flu, but the coronavirus pandemic ain't over yet. Maybe it's just starting.

I guess I came back to this blog because not only do I now have the time and wits to conjure up something to say, but maybe this is the end. I don't think I'm afraid to die, but I won't know until I get there. And I sincerely hope that I'm around long enough to put into action some of the personal development concepts I've been reading about. I want to be the person I thought I would be by now.

Man, it takes a worldwide crisis to make me understand that I've just been floating around, not really living a full life, not realizing my full potential. Crazy.

And now the journey begins. Let's hope it's a long one.