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Loaded at midnight

Rum. My friend, my savior. I'm drunk, so who knows what this blog will turn out like. I don't know even where to begin, except to say I've never felt so alone (except once about 20 years ago when I crawled under my house around dusk to drag two of my cats out from their deathbeds, killed by dogs put into my yard over the 4 foot chainlink fence by young men intent on getting the white woman out who was fighting against their drug dealing.)

I'm listening to the x ambassador's song "Renegades" over and over and over because . . . I don't know why. It comforts me somehow. I don't know why this is important, but it is to me.

Everything at work has blown up. My little family of 6 librarians and 1 library associate is disintegrating. Two gone, one in a fit of rage at all the ugly changes going on, one more to leave next month, two possibly leaving in the next month or so, and then there were two, separated by different desk assignments -- not that that mat…

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