Vicodin Wednesday

Last night I was tired of being in pain from my mastectomy, the neuropathy in my fingers and feet, and my jaw (I must be clenching my teeth unconsciously), so I swallowed a Vicodin. Pain go away, yes. Sleep, yes. Wiped out today, oh yes. The Lost Wednesday. I am doing laundry (OK, the washer and dryer are doing the actual work) so I feel like I'm accomplishing something worthwhile, but on the scale of big world things, that ain't nothing. Oh, and I watered some outside flowers, and I did a couple of newspaper crossword puzzles, and I made gluten-free pancakes (from a box) and ate them and they tasted pretty good, which I wasn't expecting because a lot of gluten-free stuff tastes awful. Now, my old cat Oz is trying to sit on my laptop because he says laps are for cats, not for strange technical things. (He gave up and is now hunkered beside me on the sofa.)

Today is a semi-cloudy day. Maybe that means it won't be as hot as it was yesterday when my ankles and feet became swollen (one of the delightful aftermaths of my chemolife) by early evening. I'm not used to being unhealthy. Swollen ankles, numb tingling fingers and toes, pain in the chest and under the arm, runny nose, popping ears, wishy-washy taste buds...wahwahwah. I'm ready, more than ready, to be a whole human being again, a person who doesn't take Vicodin, a person whose brain fully functions, a person who can just do what she wants to like she did before cancer came a-knockin'.