and so it rained

i've just been furloughed from my 22-hour-a-week night job for nine weeks. i've been so tired since it happened last Thursday. it's like i've been running a marathon for almost a year, and now i've been told i have to stop. the road has ended. now i find myself exhausted and kinda lost. last week at this exact time i was at work, and now i'm not. i like it, but i don't like the fact that there's no money coming in (from this job). i didn't even take a shower today or wash my dirty hair. i slept off and on until mid-afternoon, and then i started watching a Marilyn Monroe movie marathon. apparently today is (was) her birthday, and a movie channel i never heard of is doing an "icon-a-thon" movie marathon in her honor. it was the perfect day/evening for it because it rained (hard) in mid-afternoon and then later this evening, creating a peaceful and quiet environment outside. no barking dogs. no bang-bang from the neighbor. (i have no idea what he is doing in his yard - something was delivered around 9:00am on a long flatbed truck.) no bellowing from jets overhead. (i live in a flight path for Tampa International Airport.) the cats are all sleeping (except for the youngest, Denali, who is wild and restless all the time. i have no idea where he is right now. bad mama.) i have all day off tomorrow. no working until 2:00am. i just might take a long lost look at my novel that i finished a year or so ago; i've been too tired and out of sorts to edit it (lord knows, it needs editing.) i think this will be a good time for me to come back to who i was or should be. running between two jobs, one daytime, one nighttime, basically working seven days a week, has done me in. i actually feel clear-headed today, something i haven't felt in a long, long time. maybe i'm still alive after all.

Sticks of Fire sculpture in Plant Park