3:33 am

I like to sleep but I guess that's not happening tonight (or should I say this morning). There are so many convoluted thoughts traveling the roadways of my mind. I say shut up, monkey mind. Stop the chatter. Monkey mind's not listening. Jabber, jabber, jabber. Is any of it really important? Am I saving the world with this aimless meandering of thoughts, imaginary story lines, and twisted scenarios? Don't think so. All I'm doing is stopping the sleep process. It's not the first time in my life and, most likely, not the last time either.

I'm at a fork in the proverbial road. Right now I'm on a quest for wholeness, for integration of all my selves (and I'm not talking multiple personalities). My logical mind and my strong ego (perhaps one and the same) are at war with my spiritual nature, my intuition, my whatever you want to call it. I'm comfortable with the war, in the same way an abused person becomes accustomed to the violence. But for the first time in my many decades of life on this planet I have come to understand that there doesn't have to be a war. I can be a whole person, not a fractured individual, not a wounded animal, not a crying child. Of course, like a lot of things in this world, my quest for wholeness may not be easy, but at least now I know there is a real journey to be begun. I've packed my suitcase and I'm ready!