More violence

On Christmas Eve morning, a felon sets fire to the house he shares with his sister (with his sister still in it), waits in the hills with three weapons (one a Bushmaster, the same assault weapon used by Adam Lanza at Sandy Hook Elementary) for volunteer firefighters to respond, and then shoots at them, killing two and injuring two others. While the police cordon off the area, the fire continues to burn, eventually destroying or harming seven homes. The felon, William Spengler, walks to a beach and commits suicide. One of the dead firefighters was only 19 years old.

As I age, I thought I would become tougher, more immune to the world around me, but that isn't so. I find myself becoming more sensitive to both the beauty and the ugliness of where I live. I'm still in a kind of shocked daze by the Sandy Hook Elementary slaughter, and now this planned murder in upstate New York in another small town of 42,000. It's horrible to think about why one human being would do this to other human beings, and yet, we do this kind of wholesale slaughter in the wild animal and ocean-dweller environments all the time. We think nothing of destroying family units and upsetting cultures when we kill wolves, whales, deer, bears, geese, ducks, elephants, lions, tigers . . . and the list goes on, and we kill them because we like to kill or because we want something they have (like ivory tusks) or because we see them as a food source or because we deem them dangerous to our livelihoods or our homes (never mind that we invaded their territories, their homes). It's all just so much violence.

Maybe I'm a Quaker in spirit. I don't know. I do find it difficult at times to be alive in this increasingly rude, inconsiderate, and violent society we've created. There is so much trash and garbage in the streets where I live (and this is a middle/upper middle class area). There is the constant bombardment of the thundering rap bass from passing cars or from neighbors. There are people who put their dogs outside and let them bark and bark and bark for hours. There are people who celebrate Christmas Eve with fireworks. (I hate fireworks - they're illegal but no one cares to do anything about it, just like the loud rap.) I'm kvetching, I know. I said I was going to be more positive. Good thing it wasn't a New Year's resolution or it would be already broken. I need to accept the things I can't change, but, man, is that difficult.

It rained today, hard, for a little while. That's good. The trees, plants and grass need it. So do the weeds, I suppose, and my car as well. It's quiet today. (Thank God - last night we were "serenaded" by pounding rap bass for hours, courtesy of the residents of the mobile home on the street behind my house.) This morning I walked my dog down to the pond behind my little subdivision to check on the geese that "own" that pond. (They have generously allowed four Mallard ducks to live on/near the pond with them - must be the Christmas spirit.) Everyone looked in good shape. Then we came home, and it rained. Sometimes I like rain. It's almost like a cleansing of the earth and the air.

I wonder if there is a quiet place somewhere in this country where I can live quietly and peacefully and not be serenaded by thundering rap on Christmas Day or fireworks on Christmas Eve. I'm probably dreaming. Where there are people, there is noise and garbage and inconsideration. Yet I know there are people like me who pick up the garbage, live quietly and peacefully, consider the people around them, and try to lead an aware life. Most of my current neighbors are decent folk, but they seem to be insular and unaware of anything outside their immediate domain. Maybe I'm being judgmental or perhaps I'm just more attuned to the surrounding environment because I walk my dog at least once a day. It's amazing the things you see when you walk your dog. The other night I noticed (peripherally) a flash of light over my head; when I looked up into the night sky, I watched a comet fly across the darkness to disappear in the west. Never before in my life has a comet flashed over my head while I was walking. Just one comet. It felt like a special show just for me. Perhaps a speeding comet is a violent act in the universe (explosion, disintegration, destructive impact), but viewing it from down under on terra firma, it seemed almost a message from God - breathe, be aware, move, or, even better, Go West, Young Woman! Hmmmm . . . .